Red flags & dating drama in Chinese 渣男渣女
zhā nán zhā nǚ
Scumbag in Chinese is 渣男 (zhā nán).
Also searched for as: red flags, toxic relationship, player, cheater, scumbag, dating drama.
Players, cheaters and other people to swipe left on. 15 essential red flags & dating drama words in Mandarin Chinese, with pinyin and English. Open it in the app to hear each word, tick off the ones you know and turn them into flashcards.
Chinese internet slang has a sharp vocabulary for dating red flags. A man who plays with people's feelings is a 渣男 (zhā nán), and a woman doing the same is a 渣女 (zhā nǚ). Someone juggling several admirers is a 海王 (hǎi wáng), a "sea king" with a pond full of fish, while the person kept in reserve is a 备胎 (bèi tāi), a "spare tyre". Knowing these helps you follow gossip, comment sections and dramas.
| Chinese | Pinyin | English |
|---|---|---|
| 渣男 | zhā nán | scumbag; player (man) |
| 渣女 | zhā nǚ | player (woman) |
| 劈腿 | pī tuǐ | to two-time; to cheat |
| 出轨 | chū guǐ | to have an affair |
| 海王 | hǎi wáng | player with lots of options (lit. sea king) |
| 备胎 | bèi tāi | backup option (lit. spare tyre) |
| 舔狗 | tiǎn gǒu | simp |
| 绿茶 | lǜ chá | fake-innocent, manipulative girl (lit. green tea) |
| PUA | P U A | emotional manipulation |
| 画大饼 | huà dà bǐng | to make empty promises |
| 妈宝男 | mā bǎo nán | mummy's boy |
| 控制欲 | kòng zhì yù | need to control |
| 搞暧昧 | gǎo ài mèi | to lead someone on |
| 踩雷 | cǎi léi | to hit a red flag (lit. step on a mine) |
| 狗血 | gǒu xuè | melodramatic |
Usage tips
- 劈腿 (pī tuǐ) and 出轨 (chū guǐ) both mean cheating, but 出轨, literally "to go off the rails", is typically used for married people, while 劈腿, "doing the splits", is more for dating couples.
- 踩雷 (cǎi léi), "to step on a mine", is used well beyond dating: you can 踩雷 with a bad restaurant or product too. In dating it means discovering someone is a bad match.
- PUA, from "pick-up artist", is used in Chinese for emotional manipulation in general, including at work: 被老板PUA了 (bèi lǎo bǎn PUA le) means your boss has been manipulating you.
Common mistakes
- 绿茶 (lǜ chá) sounds harmless, but as slang it's an insult for a woman who acts innocent while manipulating others. Don't use it as a playful nickname.
- 舔狗 (tiǎn gǒu) is cruder and more insulting than "simp" sounds in English. Don't use it about a friend's sweet gestures unless you're sure they'll take it as a joke.
Mini dialogue
- A你跟那个男生怎么样了？Nǐ gēn nà ge nán shēng zěn me yàng le?How's it going with that guy?
- B别提了，我发现他同时在跟三个女生聊天。Bié tí le, wǒ fā xiàn tā tóng shí zài gēn sān ge nǚ shēng liáo tiān.Don't ask. I found out he's chatting with three girls at once.
- A天哪，这不就是海王吗？Tiān na, zhè bù jiù shì hǎi wáng ma?Oh my goodness, isn't that a total player?
- B对，我不想当他的备胎，已经把他删了。Duì, wǒ bù xiǎng dāng tā de bèi tāi, yǐ jīng bǎ tā shān le.Yes, and I don't want to be his backup option, so I've deleted him.
- A做得好！又踩雷了，下一个会更好。Zuò de hǎo! Yòu cǎi léi le, xià yī ge huì gèng hǎo.Good for you! Another red flag, but the next one will be better.
Example sentences
- 他就是个渣男，别信他。He's a total player, don't trust him.
- 她同时跟三个人暧昧，真是渣女。She's stringing three guys along at once, total player.
- 我发现他劈腿了。I found out he was two-timing me.
- 她老公出轨了。Her husband had an affair.
- 他是个海王，鱼塘里养了好多鱼。He's a player with a whole pond full of fish.
- 我不想当你的备胎。I don't want to be your backup option.
- 别当舔狗了，她不喜欢你。Stop simping, she doesn't like you.
- 她说话一股绿茶味。She talks in a really fake-innocent way.
- 他一直在PUA你，你没发现吗？He's been manipulating you all along, haven't you noticed?
- 他总是给我画大饼。He's always making me empty promises.
- 他什么都要问妈妈，是个妈宝男。He has to ask his mum about everything: a total mummy's boy.
- 他的控制欲太强了。He's way too controlling.
- 他跟好几个女生搞暧昧。He's leading on several girls at once.
- 这次相亲又踩雷了。I hit another red flag on this blind date.
- 他们的故事太狗血了！Their story is like a soap opera!
Practise speaking
Ready to use these words? The Red flags & dating drama speaking island has 8 everyday questions about red flags & dating drama to prepare your own answers to.